Scare-the-Weans Semple

A blog post by Albert Semple

22 Dec 2022

Inspired by a joke I read on Mastodon, in this poem, the narrator overhears his wife talking to policemen about his qualities as a husband.

It's Saturday evening,  some time after tea, The children contentedly  watching TV, My wife's on the sofa,  preparing to snooze, I'm sat in the window seat  reading the news. On hearing the sound  of our squeaky front gate, I look up to see  who would visit so late: Two uniformed policemen  are at the front door. My wife goes to see  what they're visiting for. ＂We're sorry — excuse this  intrusion from us. It looks like your husband's  been hit by a bus.＂ My wife says, ＂That's true,  many people have said, But he's good with the children  and quiet in bed.＂
Accessible version

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