Scare-the-Weans Semple

A blog post by Albert Semple

22 Dec 2022

Inspired by a joke I read on Mastodon, in this poem, the narrator overhears his wife talking to policemen about his qualities as a husband.

It's Saturday evening,
 some time after tea,
The children contentedly
 watching TV,
My wife's on the sofa,
 preparing to snooze,
I'm sat in the window seat
 reading the news.
On hearing the sound
 of our squeaky front gate,
I look up to see
 who would visit so late:
Two uniformed policemen
 are at the front door.
My wife goes to see
 what they're visiting for.
"We're sorry — excuse this
 intrusion from us.
It looks like your husband's
 been hit by a bus."
My wife says, "That's true,
 many people have said,
But he's good with the children
 and quiet in bed."
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