- All literate men educated in Killie,
- Would never take literature out of their willy.
- Although they'd agree such behaviours are sick,
- They've all taken books or CDs out the Dick.
- If curious folk yearned for insects and creatures
- And wanted to study their structure and features,
- They needn't explore in the undergrowth thick:
- They're nailed to the banisters right in the Dick.
- When back in Kilmarnock to see my old granny,
- Who'd never stick scabby old cats in the fanny,
- I'd think how the Council decided to stick
- A mangey old specimen right in the Dick.____
by Albert Semple
12 lines over 3 stanzas.