- A bairn who has a play piece
- disnae huv himsel a toy.
- A loon is no a crazy man,
- it's just a Doric boy.
- You wouldnae catch an oxter
- like an oyster or a troot.
- You're no suspending footwear
- if you're juist hingin a boot.
- We dinnae think you're Kenneth
- if we ask you if ye ken.
- And if yer pal is greeting
- they're no saying "hello!" again.
- A coupon's no a voucher
- on the front a someone's heid.
- A coo is no a pigeon
- that you'd feed on nuts and seed.
- If children ask tae clap your dug
- applause it willnae get.
- And if you're gettin steamin
- you're no getting hot and wet.____
by Albert Semple
20 lines over 5 stanzas.