- It's OK to pee in the sea.
- It's OK to cry
- if you go to Dalry,
- And feel free to floss
- all the way to Kinloss.
- It's fine to feel sick
- between Thurso and Wick,
- And cool to feel gay
- around Newport-on-Tay.
- And it's OK to pee in the sea.
- But best not to sleep
- in a Peebles dungheap,
- Or act the buffoon
- on the train down to Troon.
- And don't eat the poo
- found in Edinburgh Zoo,
- Or hide a dead body
- in sand at Kirkcaldy,
- But it's OK to pee in the sea.
- Don't steal a car
- on the way to Stranraer,
- Nor import cocaine
- on the beach at Culzean.
- Don't have an affair
- with a schoolgirl from Ayr,
- Nor commit genocide
- passing through Morningside,
- But it's OK to pee in the sea.____
by Albert Semple
28 lines over 6 stanzas.