The Many Unsuccessful Invasions of Maybole

1. The Romans invaded
2.  and came to explore,
3. But never got south
4.  of the Minishant Store.
5. The Normans came next
6.  with their thousands of men
7. But stopped at the Kirk
8.  coming up Coral Glen.
   
   
9. Napoleon's navy
10.  were here on campaign
11. But scuttled their boats
12.  by the beach at Culzean.
13. And even the VAT man
14.  when taxes were owed,
15. Was kicked up the arse
16.  and sent back up the road.
    
    
17.  A German, a Russian,
18.  A Viking, a Pole:
19.  Would sooner retreat
20.  Than lay siege to Maybole.
    
    
21. The Spanish Armada,
22.  the Spartans from Greece:
23. They heard of Maybole
24.  and turned back at Dumfries.
25. The Minniebole people
26.  repelled each attack,
27. Remained undefeated,
28.  and sent them all back.
    
    
29. But one thing that causes
30.  their blood to run cold,
31. The one thing that causes
32.  young men to look old:
33. Their legs turn to jelly,
34.  they feel insecure,
35. When faced with a crabbit
36.  wee lass from Dunure.
    
    
37.  A Norman, a Saxon,
38.  A Spaniard, a Pole:
39.  Would rather be dead
40.  Than advance on Maybole.
    
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by Albert Semple
40 lines over 6 stanzas.