- Remember at school, before puberty hit,
- When us boys were all given some coaching
- To give us a lesson on things to expect
- With our adulthood changes approaching.
- But when you're a man, no such lessons exist
- To prepare you for what will ensue,
- For after testosterone's peaked and declined,
- There's no syllabus ready for you.
- So filling the void I have written this rhyme
- With experience that I have gauged,
- Some things I've observed since I first made the switch
- From an adult to just middle-aged:
- A bald spot appears at the back of your head
- Then your forehead goes back to subsume it;
- You'll still have thick hair, but it grows out your ears,
- And your barber takes extra to prune it;
- If young people give you a look in a bar
- Don't assume that they feel an attraction -
- Assume that they think you resemble their dad
- And don't think that they're up for some action;
- You'll wake up to pee at least three times a night
- And you'll suffer with stress from your job;
- Your balls start to hang a bit lower each day
- 'Til they hang past the tip of your knob;
- You might feel the urge for a sporty new car -
- A convertible one with some grunt,
- But know that the car doesn't make you look cool,
- As we all think you look like a cunt.____
by Albert Semple
28 lines over 7 stanzas.