- I'd reimplant my wisdom teeth,
- Expose myself on Hampstead Heath.
- I'd run a mile in wet cement,
- Support a Tory government.
- I'd live with my step-mum-in-law,
- Chew toffee with a broken jaw.
- I'd staple both my eyelids shut,
- Rub salt into a paper cut.
- I'd eat a gerbil casserole,
- Serve life in jail without parole.
- These are things I'd rather do
- Before I'd do that thing for you.____
by Albert Semple
12 lines over 3 stanzas.