Minister's Resignation Letter

A blog post by Albert Semple

6 Jul 2022

A leaked resignation letter from the (fictional) Rt Hon Timon Featherstonehaugh, MP for Dogging-in-the-Wold, explaining that he won't go out to lie for Boris anymore.

I'd reimplant my wisdom teeth,
Expose myself on Hampstead Heath.
I'd run a mile in wet cement,
Elect a Labour government.
I'd live with my step-mum-in-law,
Chew toffee with a broken jaw.
I'd staple both my eyelids shut,
Rub salt into a paper cut.
I'd eat a gerbil casserole,
Serve life in jail without parole.
These are things I'd rather do
Before I'd tell more lies for you.
Accessible version

The latest in a series of MPs to resign, increasing the pressure on the PM to stand aside.