Children's Poems for Adults

A blog post by Albert Semple

1 Jul 2023

Two poems I pushed out to social media in June, but didn't to post them on this blog at the time due to tie pressures, but here they are in a double bill!

The first one was "The Gigolo", which is a homage to Julia Donaldson's "The Gruffalo", where the pretty brown mouse fabricates a Gigolo to scare off a sleazy, predatory fox.

A mouse took a walk in a deep dark wood A fox saw the mouse and the fox got wood. ＂Where are you going to pretty brown mouse? Come for a date in my bachelor's house.＂ ＂That's terribly kind of you, Fox, but no. I paid for a night with a gigolo.＂ ＂A gigolo? What's a gigolo＂ ＂A gigolo, why, didn't you know? ＂He's very well groomed, with no hairs on his back. He's strong and athletic, and great in the sack.＂ ＂Where are you meeting him?＂ ＂Here by these rocks. For fifty quid extra, he'd spatchcock a fox.＂ ＂Spatchcock a fox? I'm off!＂ Fox said. ＂So long, sexy mouse,＂ and away he sped. ＂Silly old Fox. Doesn't he know? I've no need to pay for a gigolo.＂
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The second was my Pride poem for 2023, describing a happy encounter on a gay night out. It's a tribute to "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" by Michael Rosen.

I'm going on a bear hunt. I'm going to get the big one. What a beautiful man. I'm not scared. Oh no! A twink! I can't be rude to him, I can't just ignore him, I'll just have to dance with him. Swish swish, swish swish, Swish swish, swish swish!
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