A Massive Bequest for a Cat

A blog post by Albert Semple

7 Aug 2023

An anecdote from my student days (actually an anecdote I read on Fesshole).

When I was at student, I dated a lady
 Whose flatmate posessed a pet cat.
The flatmate was awful, and used to get stroppy
 Whenever I stayed in the flat.
One Saturday night, we were out on a date,
 And then after some drinks we withdrew,
Returned to her flatshare where during the night
 I urgently needed a poo!
The toilet was locked as the flatmate was in it —
 My turd was beginning to crest.
But there in the hall was the cat's litter tray,
 So I left him a massive bequest.
Got up in the morning, she'd written a note
 That we found in the small kitchenette:
"The cat left a stool — I think he's unwell.
 I've taken him off to the vet."
Accessible version

I guess there is an element of truth to this — as a student I went out with a girl whose flatmate had a pet rabbit, but the flatmate and the rabbit were both lovely, and I never "left a bequest" for him.