The Essential Scots Phrasebook for Visitors

by Albert Semple, 13 October 2022

  1. A bairn who has a play piece
  2.  disnae huv himsel a toy.
  3. A loon is no a crazy man,
  4.  it's just a Doric boy.

  5. You wouldnae catch an oxter
  6.  like an oyster or a troot.
  7. You're no suspending footwear
  8.  if you're juist hingin a boot.

  9. We dinnae think you're Kenneth
  10.  if we ask you if ye ken.
  11. And if yer pal is greeting
  12.  they're no saying "hello!" again.

  13. A coupon's no a voucher
  14.  on the front a someone's heid.
  15. A coo is no a pigeon
  16.  that you'd feed on nuts and seed.

  17. If children ask tae clap your dug
  18.  applause it willnae get.
  19. And if you're gettin steamin
  20.  you're no getting hot and wet.

by Albert Semple
20 lines over 5 stanzas.