The Sair Neebours (Scots)

by Albert Semple, 14 July 2022

  1. It's been aboot a decade
  2.  that we've bided in oor hoose,
  3. And maistly wir contentit here,
  4.  apart fae wan excuse:
  5. The wan thing that'll fash us,
  6.  and the wan thing we regret,
  7. Oor neebour's been a fandan
  8.  since the day that we first met.

  9. He's ayeways got a comment
  10.  if Ah need tae cut mah grass,
  11. Or hoiks aroond ma bins
  12.  tae check plastic, caird or glass.
  13. Or if Ah'm haeing veesitors
  14.  that need tae park on-street,
  15. He ayeways jees thair motors on
  16.  by just a few mair feet.

  17. He'll whine ma milkman's noisy,
  18.  or ma rones are wantin cleart,
  19. Pits clippings in ma gairden
  20.  fae wir hedge that he's just sheart,
  21. Or Post-Its on ma windscreen
  22.  wi' some wisdom tae dispense,
  23. Or writes intae the cooncil
  24.  where he clipes aboot my fence.

  25. The wey he's aye pernickety
  26.  nae mair can Ah ignore.
  27. The next time he's gaun oot the hoose
  28.  I'm roon at his front door.
  29. I'm shoutin' through his letterbox
  30.  to get the dauber back:
  32.  3AM, TO WALK THE CAT!"

by Albert Semple
32 lines over 4 stanzas.