Resignation Letter of Rt. Hon. Timon Featherstonehaugh

by Albert Semple, 6 July 2022

  1. I'd reimplant my wisdom teeth,
  2. Expose myself on Hampstead Heath.
  3. I'd run a mile in wet cement,
  4. Elect a Labour government.

  5. I'd live with my step-mum-in-law,
  6. Chew toffee with a broken jaw.
  7. I'd staple both my eyelids shut,
  8. Rub salt into a paper cut.

  9. I'd eat a gerbil casserole,
  10. Serve life in jail without parole.
  11. These are things I'd rather do
  12. Before I'd tell more lies for you.

by Albert Semple
12 lines over 3 stanzas.