Real Sex Education for Men

by Albert Semple, 2 June 2023

  1. Remember at school, before puberty hit,
  2.  When us boys were all given some coaching
  3. To give us a lesson on things to expect
  4.  With our adulthood changes approaching.

  5. But when you're a man, no such lessons exist
  6.  To prepare you for what will ensue,
  7. For after testosterone's peaked and declined,
  8.  There's no syllabus ready for you.

  9. So filling the void I have written this rhyme
  10.  With experience that I have gauged,
  11. Some things I've observed since I first made the switch
  12.  From an adult to just middle-aged:

  13. A bald spot appears at the back of your head
  14.  Then your forehead goes back to subsume it;
  15. You'll still have thick hair, but it grows out your ears,
  16.  And your barber takes extra to prune it;

  17. If young people give you a look in a bar
  18.  Don't assume that they feel an attraction -
  19. Assume that they think you resemble their dad
  20.  And don't think that they're up for some action;

  21. You'll wake up to pee at least three times a night
  22.  And you'll suffer with stress from your job;
  23. Your balls start to hang a bit lower each day
  24.  'Til they hang past the tip of your knob;

  25. You might feel the urge for a sporty new car -
  26.  A convertible one with some grunt,
  27. But know that the car doesn't make you look cool,
  28.  As we all think you look like a cunt.

by Albert Semple
28 lines over 7 stanzas.