Awaiting Gentrification...

by Albert Semple, 17 Nov 2022

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From the collection "Light Humour"

About this collection
Awaiting Gentrification... (24 lines)
Be Kind — Rewind (10 lines)
The Bear Hunt (10 lines)
The Christian Meaning of Halloween (8 lines)
The Crypto King (12 lines)
Dog in a Shell Suit Haiku (3 lines)
Free Speech (8 lines)
Geoff the Chef (8 lines)
The Gigolo (17 lines)
The Gluten Glutton (24 lines)
It's OK to Pee in the Sea (28 lines)
A Massive Bequest (16 lines)
My Bum isn't Big (12 lines)
My Sister — the Facebook Entrepreneur (12 lines)
My Trusty Laptop (8 lines)
The Natural History Museum (16 lines)
Newport 9 (12 lines)
Off The Hook (24 lines)
Parents' Night (12 lines)
The Passive Aggressive Neighbours (32 lines)
The Peculiar Anatomy of Brian McClurg (8 lines)
Plagiarism (8 lines)
Public Speaking (4 lines)
Ripped Jeans (12 lines)
Scare-the-Weans Semple (24 lines)
Schadenfreude (12 lines)
Second Person Pronouns (16 lines)
The Socialist Media Influencer (24 lines)
A Text Message from my Mother — Found Poetry (14 lines)
Things I Learned from my Australian Penpal (20 lines)
Things I'd Rather Do (12 lines)
To the Driver of the Audi on the A4042 (22 lines)
Weight Loss Tips (6 lines)

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Me and all my neighbours,
having lived here quite a while,
We know each other's names
and always give a nod and smile
But all of that might change quite soon,
at least it is implied:
Estate agents are saying that
we're being gentrified!
They say they're bringing coffee shops,
and florists to the road,
Mums riding round on cargo bikes
with children as their load.
A nick-nack shop, a gallery,
a fancy new boutique.
We'll all be middle class,
and we will change the way we speak.
My house will not be 16B -
it needs to have a name.
We cannot drink prosecco now -
we'll only drink champagne.
Celebs will live among us,
proper ones off BBC,
Like Brendan Lynch the runner-up
from Bake-off season three.
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by Albert Semple
24 lines over 3 stanzas.