The Gluten Glutton

1. I'm a glutton for the gluten!
2.  All my friends are gluten free.
3. So when we eat in restaurants
4.  all the glutens come to me.
5. 'Cos when they ask the waiter
6.  "Can this dish be gluten free?"
7. I'll tell the waiter "Save those glutens -
8.  Serve them up for me!"
   
   
9. I've got a pal named Cecil
10.  with celeriac's disease.
11. Says bread and cake and pasta
12.  all affect him in degrees.
13. His mouth it loves the flavour
14.  but his colon disagrees,
15. So eating any glutens
16.  brings his trousers to his knees.
    
    
17. But me, I love the glutens.
18.  I'm a glutton! I'm insane!
19. I'll gorge on whole-wheat gnocchi
20.  with a side of quiche Lorraine.
21. For I'm a gluten gannet!
22.  Gimme gallons of the grain!
23. (And hope to God I don't then sneeze
24.  and shit the bed again.)
    
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by Albert Semple
24 lines over 3 stanzas.