The Natural History Museum

by Albert Semple, 10 July 2023

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From the collection "Light Humour"

About this collection
Awaiting Gentrification... (24 lines)
Be Kind — Rewind (10 lines)
The Bear Hunt (10 lines)
The Christian Meaning of Halloween (8 lines)
The Crypto King (12 lines)
Dog in a Shell Suit Haiku (3 lines)
Free Speech (8 lines)
Geoff the Chef (8 lines)
The Gigolo (17 lines)
The Gluten Glutton (24 lines)
It's OK to Pee in the Sea (28 lines)
A Massive Bequest (16 lines)
My Bum isn't Big (12 lines)
My Sister — the Facebook Entrepreneur (12 lines)
My Trusty Laptop (8 lines)
The Natural History Museum (16 lines)
Newport 9 (12 lines)
Off The Hook (24 lines)
Parents' Night (12 lines)
The Passive Aggressive Neighbours (32 lines)
The Peculiar Anatomy of Brian McClurg (8 lines)
Plagiarism (8 lines)
Public Speaking (4 lines)
Ripped Jeans (12 lines)
Scare-the-Weans Semple (24 lines)
Schadenfreude (12 lines)
Second Person Pronouns (16 lines)
The Socialist Media Influencer (24 lines)
A Text Message from my Mother — Found Poetry (14 lines)
Things I Learned from my Australian Penpal (20 lines)
Things I'd Rather Do (12 lines)
To the Driver of the Audi on the A4042 (22 lines)
Weight Loss Tips (6 lines)

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Within the grand Jurassic room
The wise curator sits,
And idly starts to wonder
If the dinosaurs had tits.
When reaching adolescence,
Did their scaly chests become
A pair of swinging mammeries
To nutrify their young?
How would a female T-Rex,
With short arms and bulbous breast,
Contrive to put a bra on,
In the morning, getting dressed?
And did the mighty brontosaur,
Whose height is so renowned
Evolve with longer legs to keep
Her nipples off the ground.
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by Albert Semple
16 lines over 4 stanzas.