The Passive Aggressive Neighbours

by Albert Semple, 10 July 2022

  1. It's been a decade now
  2.  that we have lived at our address
  3. And mostly we're contented here.
  4.  We're happy, more or less.
  5. But something that does bother us,
  6.  and something we regret
  7. Our neighbour's been a nuisance
  8.  since the day that we first met.

  9. He always passes comment
  10.  when I need to cut my grass
  11. Or points out when my bins
  12.  are mixing plastic, card or glass.
  13. Or if I'm having visitors
  14.  who need to park on-street
  15. He always makes them move their cars
  16.  by just a few more feet.

  17. Complains my milkman's noisy,
  18.  or my gutter's needing cleared,
  19. Puts trimmings in my garden
  20.  from our hedge that he's just sheared,
  21. Or Post-Its on my windscreen
  22.  with some wisdom to dispense,
  23. Or letters to the council
  24.  to complain about my fence.

  25. His petty wee aggressions
  26.  I no longer can ignore,
  27. So when he next goes out
  28.  I'm creeping round to his front door.
  29. I'm shouting through his letterbox
  30.  to get back at the prat:
  32.  3AM, TO WALK THE CAT!"

by Albert Semple
32 lines over 4 stanzas.